Read Hannah Coulter. It will make you happy.

I am finishing up reading Wendell Berry's Hannah Coulter.  It's a biographical account of a fictional character, Hannah, and it's part of his Port Williams series.  I don't want to finish it because the characters have become my friends and I'll miss them when they're gone.  It's rich in communicating abstract feelings like belonging, roots, community, and change.  They become real, tangible things and you feel them with Hannah and her family.  It's like listening to the stories and soaking in the wisdom of a grandmother you never had, or maybe just like one you have.  Here's a bit of why i love it:


"And so Nathan required me (Hannah) to think a thought that has stayed with me a long time and has traveled a long way.  It passed through everything I know and changed it all.  The chance you had is the life you've got.  You can make complaints about what people, including you, make of their lives after they have got them, and about what people make of other people's lives...but you mustn't wish for another life.  You mustn't want to be somebody else.  What you must do is this: 'Rejoice evermore.  Pray without ceasing.  In everything give thanks.' I am not all the way capable of so much, but those are the right instructions."

thinking about Lent

This cold I have only allowed me to sleep until 4:30 a.m. So I'm awake, and I'm thinking about Lent on this very early morning.  I remember this season in past years as being a time of simplifying and turning away from things that distract me from God.  I remember trying to give things up and then giving in at some point in the fast.  One year I tried to fast from the snooze button so I could get up and do something more important than sleeping.  I probably fasted from my fast about half the time.

I didn't get it.  I got too focused on making rules for myself and then I didn't want to follow the rules.  So, I missed the point entirely.  I read earlier that Lent is a journey back to God, an opportunity to make some space in our lives to focus on God. 

This year I hardly realized the season was approaching before it started just yesterday on Ash Wednesday.  I had to remind myself of the history and purpose of the Lenten season.  I found some helpful info here.   In reading about Lent, I realized my need for a time to focus on repentance. 

Analyzing something is normal for me, but I think thoughtful self-examination with the goal of repentance is entirely different.  It involves calling into question the little habits I have that make me comfortable, the ways I isolate and protect myself so I don't have to deal with hard things, and the ways I turn from God in all of this: Sin. 

It seems so trite to give up coffee or alcohol or sweets or facebook for something that changed the course of history and of my own life...

but then I think about the way I indulge in sweets.

I often eat sweets instead of praying or confessing to a friend.  When I've had a bad day, I might go out and buy a pint of Ben and Jerry's.  Not only is this a terrible habit, but it's false comfort.  I realized just yesterday that I have a problem on my hands.  Wednesday's sweets consumption: 3 rice krispy treats (snack served at preschool where i work), 2 cookies, 1 ice cream sandwich, and 3 pieces of chocolate - all in one day.  So, I'm seriously considering taking a break from addictive, comforting sugar. 

I am reminded: It is his kindness which leads us to repentance (from Romans 2:4).

What are your thoughts on Lent, fasting, etc? 

allow me to be a bit cliche, if i may: it's just been one of those days.

I know everyone has a day when absolutely everything is frustrating or just goes completely wrong.  A day when everything feels like work.  A day when you are, as crappy as it sounds, just surviving. 

I have had plenty, and today was one of them. 

I learned something on this blue day.  On days like today, I want to come home to someone to share it with and to laugh and cry it out with.   I decided that I'm done living alone.  I want a roommate ASAP, and not a canine roommate.  Living solo for this year has been a good stint through which I have learned some things, but I'm ready to get back to sharing life with people.  

I have learned so much about myself and have literally become an adult within the context of sharing day to day life with roommates...in community.  I've learned to cook and clean, organize, celebrate little things,  take time alone, listen, listen, listen, ask questions, share, be present, and to have an open door most of the time.  I also learned that everyone has annoying habits - especially me, and that ending the day with a hot meal and a friend is the best therapy.  Most importantly: Love is Patient. 
 
What about you?  Do you prefer living alone or with roommates? What have you learned about yourself from living with other people?

Just a shout out to all my former fabulous rommates. I have had many, and I love and miss them all!  I miss sharing my great days and my blue days with you guys, and I miss hearing about yours.  So, here's to you for helping me grow up!
Leah Smith, Corrie Beene, Sarah Powell Gong, Phyllis DeWeerdt Reeves, Leigh Anne Foster, Katie Laird Maxwell,  Natalie Walden, and Eden Hegwood Blackwell.